How Can We Forgive…When We Can’t Forget?

This article was sent my way via email.  We have all heard the saying “forgive and forget” but what do you do when you can’t forget.  Fr. Justin Waltz answers that question:

While many people believe forgetting an injury is part of forgiveness, Fr. Justin Waltz, pastor of St. Leo’s Church in Minot, ND, suggested just the opposite. In fact, he stated that forgetting is not even possible. “The only type of forgetting I have heard of is stuffing,” he said during a retreat presentation and added, “The hurt is not gone, it is just buried deep within.”

 Since forgetting is not an option given our memories, Waltz said that God has provided an even better remedy—the divine transformation of a resurrection within our souls. He pointed out that Christ himself retained the wounds of his crucifixion. “Had he wanted to, Jesus could have healed his body so completely that even the scars did not exist,” he explained. “Christ is not ashamed of these scars, rather he wears them as his testament to his victory over sin and death.”

Transforming Pain

By keeping the scars, he said that Jesus taught us some great truths about suffering. Christ suffered a brutal and humiliating death but resurrected while retaining the scars. Since he has gone before us, Waltz explained that through faith in God, we can trust that nothing is beyond his healing, no matter how deep or how painful.  “God goes beyond forgetting. He transforms us and brings us out of the tomb into the light of the resurrection, not only healed but victorious.”

Waltz stated that God’s healing begins with faith in him to heal all things. “Just for a moment, imagine what sort of life and power would be unleashed in your heart if you allowed God to transform your pain into victory,” he said.

 He laid out some of the essentials for recovering from hurts. Regarding those that struggle with the concept of a loving God, he explained that God does not desire our suffering, but it is a fallen world. “God created free will and when he did, this, he tied his hands,” Waltz explained.  Through human free will, sin and death entered the world. “But in every circumstance that evil occurs, God has created an out, even death in which he has created a place where there is no death, pain or suffering,” he said.

“Forgiving God really comes down to not holding God responsible for something that he did not do.  When we do this, we allow God to do the very thing that God does best–set us free from the pain.”  Waltz said to recall that God shows us only love and mercy even to the extent of sending his only son to suffer for our sins and save us.

Whatever the pain we want to overcome, Waltz pointed out that part of the transformation that can happen is when people use their pain, regardless of whether it came from others or their own bad choices, as a good to help others. He used the example of speaker Carroll Everett who came to Bishop Ryan High School and shared with the students that her life took a dark turn after she had an abortion. She began abusing alcohol, her marriage fell apart and she started working in the abortion business. After her conversion, she was transformed and now uses her past to speak out for life and help others to heal.  Those who have suffered pain are usually the ones most effective in helping others overcome the same pain. Waltz cautioned, however, that before the transformation, people need to forgive themselves. “The remedy for forgiving ourselves simply lies in allowing Christ’s mercy and forgiveness to conquer our self-regret and self hatred. It’s as if he reaches into our very hearts and pulls us out of ourselves and into his life. Then, who are we to accuse what he has forgiven?”

Finding Peace Little by Little

After the resurrection and before his ascension, Jesus gave us the gift of peace, “Peace be with you.” (John 14:27). According to Waltz, it is that peace that people can find through forgiveness. He said that forgiveness does not mean forgetting and nor does it mean necessarily reconciling in all cases when we must forgive others. Instead, he explained that forgiveness of others means removing the debt they owe us. In the Gospel of Matthew18: 23-35 the parable of the unforgiving servant shows that forgiveness means removing a debt—that we no longer hold a person’s debt against them.  In the story, a servant is forgiven a large debt but then he goes out and refuses to forgive a smaller debt. Thus, just as Christ died for the forgiveness of our sins—a very large debt–we must forgive others.

Waltz stated, “It is the very remedy that we seek in order to move on and reconstruct our lives–leaving behind the old and embracing the new.”  He acknowledged that forgiveness is sometimes beyond us so that we must begin with the desire to forgive and lean on God to take us the rest of the way, little by little, day by day. “But when in the darkness and the hurt we can find it in ourselves to even whisper ever so gently, I forgive you, it’s as if there is a genesis of new life that begins and this new life is far stronger than the one that has been taken from us.”

Fr. Justin Waltz

One problem with healing in our culture according to Waltz is that people often don’t understand that it takes time and unlike drive thru restaurants and the Internet, it’s not an instant process. “The body does not heal quickly and frankly nor does the soul,” he stated.  Another problem he said is the tendency for people to want to bury and ignore old wounds. “It is much easier to be angry and resentful or to just cover it up then to have to go through spiritual surgery,” he said.

Waltz made three recommendations he has seen help people with the process of healing. The first is to go to confession, since it is a sacrament of healing which brings life to souls.  The second, for those with deep wounds, is counseling with a Catholic psychologist who practices his faith. And the third way is to relate to Jesus in prayer, especially through the Mass.  “Tell Christ about the pain and placing that pain into his healing wounds,” said Fr. Justin.  “Jesus is the power to help forgive others and he is the power that will help you forgive yourself, for he is love, he is mercy, and he is our healing.”

Keeping Up With the Jones’s

I’ve been thinking a lot about money lately, especially because I’m planning a big pilgrimage with my son and mother this summer.  To be honest, the money is not entirely there.  Many would say I shouldn’t go.  But really, when I look at the vast majority of people in this world, I realize that I’m truly rich.  Sure, I may be living paycheck to paycheck.  I may have a little credit card debt.  But I have a house.  I have a college degree.  I have a job that I love that I’ve had for 14 years and that I know I will continue to have for another 14 years if I choose to work hard and keep up with my education.  I have a 403b.  I have a college plan for my son.  So even though I don’t feel rich, I know I really am.  What could possibly stop me from going?

Well, there are so many things I can buy with the money I would use to go to Medjugorje: A more fuel-efficient car, a big wedding (eventually lol), new appliances for my aging kitchen, cute shoes.  But none of that will give me what Medjugorje will give me—peace, a closeness to Heaven, a place of contemplation and meditation, a community of believers, a place to just say “Thank you” to the Lord of Heaven and earth.  That is more than I can ask for in a lifetime.

We must be watchful of the needs of the flesh.  St. Paul says in his first letter to Timothy, “But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs”  1 Timothy 6: 9-10.  I do not want to lose my faith on account of my greed; however, it’s difficult in this society to not be greedy.  Everyone wants to “Keep up with the Jones’s.”  I would like a bigger house, a nicer car, and newer shoes and clothes.  But is it really worth it?  Heck no.  God has been able to provide for me through my talents with a good and loving home for me and for my son.  I want to use those talents, my time, and my treasure to give back to Him.  Pope Francis recently spoke about greed and waste.  He said, “Our grandparents used to make a point of not throwing away leftover food. Consumerism has made us accustomed to wasting food daily and we are unable to see its real value.  Throwing away food is like stealing from the table of those who are poor and hungry.”  How true.  I think about how much food I throw away on a daily basis and it disgusts and saddens me.  I don’t appreciate what I have enough let alone be responsible for more.  We are all accountable for what we receive.

So yes, I’m going on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje to say thank you for all I have.  And starting now, I will be giving even more of my talent, time, and treasure to my Church.  It’s my home, my love, my lifeline to God.  I encourage anyone reading this to do the same.  You will be rewarded in ways you can’t even imagine.  Thank you Lord for all You’ve given to me.  I will use Your gifts more responsibly in the future.  Please bless me and those around me with more of Your graces and Your gifts so we can put them to use for You and Your Kingdom.  Amen.

 Jennifer Kuiper

Hearing Voices? Me Too!

Something weird happened to me on Pentacost.  Actually, other people might think it’s weird; I’m starting to get used to it.  I was driving home from Church and I was barraged with many negative feelings all at once.  They weren’t “other” voices that I heard in my ears but there were words formed in my mind.  These words said “why do you bother doing this?  There’s nothing after this life.  You’ll be separated from your son forever.”  As I was hearing/feeling this, I actually got scared and my thoughts said, “Really?”  Then a distinct voice spoke to my heart and said “Lies.”  To distract myself from these voices/feelings I turned on the radio.  Fortunately, it was on my local Christian station, Z88.3.  It’s all I listen to anymore, at least when driving.  The song was Voice of Truth and boy did I need to hear it.  It was one of my favorite songs by a band I love, Casting Crowns.  The song spoke words of comfort:  The voice of truth tells me a different story.  The voice of truth says do not be afraid.  The voice of truth says this is for my glory.  Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.”

The Voice of Truth is always calling out to us in the midst of all the other voices and feelings distracting us and even harming us.  Call on the Holy Spirit.  It was sent to the disciples of Christ and it has come to us to give us peace and direction.  Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful with peace and love!

Jennifer Kuiper

It’s Greek To Me!

If you were to go to Mass in Greece, you wouldn’t understand a thing.  It’d be Greek to you–unless you were Catholic of course!  Yes, it would still be literally Greek but because the Mass is identical in every Catholic Church across the world, you would understand exactly what was being said at all times, except for the priest’s homily.  In that way it is truly a universal church.  This is one of the gifts I especially love about my church.  Next to the Sacraments and the church’s respect for Mary and the saints, this is probably my favorite part of being a Catholic.  When I was in 8^th grade I went to Italy on a school field trip.  We went to Mass and I knew what was going on, but not everyone with me did so it felt awkward for them.  I am totally aware that for a non-Catholic, going to Mass can be an intimidating thing.  All that standing, sitting, kneeling, and knowing what to say and when to say it.  But for anyone who is a little nervous about it, there is a book in the pew that walks through the whole Mass and tells you what to say and do.  Once you know it, it’s second nature and you can go anywhere and understand just about anything in a Catholic Mass.  I encourage you to check it out, especially if you’re traveling to another country that has many cathedrals and a rich church history.  As I was watching the Pope’s installation Mass this morning, I had no need of the English translation for the major parts of the Mass.  Sometimes it’s just beautiful to listen to the sound of another language.  And to feel a sense of community in a place where you don’t know the language, is even better still.  Thank you God for Your Church.  Strengthen those in the hierarchy and those who are not.  Let us all work for the good of all people all over the whole and truly be a Bride You can rejoice in and praise.  Amen.

 

Will the Real St. Francis Please Stand Up?

St. Francis of Assisi is one of the most misunderstood saints of all time.  In fact, many think he’s a big sissy because he is the patron saint of animals and the environment.  Nothing can be further from the truth.  For one, no Italian man I’ve ever met is a sissy.  Yes, they can cry and be emotional, but that is a strength, especially now when men push down their feelings and turn their hearts to stone.  Instead, they express their love and pain for the world to see and this is the epitome of strength.  St. Francis was no different.  And while he may have been a lover of nature, that is not all there was to him.  He loved all life and he especially loved Jesus.  Look at this image of St. Francis.

It’s one we don’t see as often.  St. Francis loved Jesus and constantly contemplated His suffering on the cross.  He loved him so much he meditated on His cross and Jesus eventually shared His own wounds with St. Francis in the form of the stigmata.

Another misconception about St. Francis is that he was a priest; however, he wasn’t.  He never thought of himself as worthy of the priesthood.  He lived a life of much sin for almost 3 decades before he turned away from wealth, fame, and security to rely on God alone.  I find it fascinating that our new Pope took the name Francis and showed himself to be very humble, a servant of the Church.  Perhaps he thinks he is not worthy of the position that he now holds.  This humility is also great strength.  To show the world that you are a humble servant and not an all-powerful God-like figure could save the Church.  To turn away from the complexity of it all and find the simple road—there is much strength in that.  There’s a wonderful story about a priest who was no longer a very good shepherd to his flock.  The people in town begged St. Francis to speak with him and he agreed.  When he saw this lost priest St. Francis got on his knees and kissed his hands.  The priest was so moved by this that he rededicated his life to the priesthood and his people.

So like St. Francis of Assisi, perhaps Pope Francis heard God calling:  “Rebuild my Church.”  Please God, make it so.  Your will be done.  Amen!

Jennifer Kuiper

Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

I feel lately as though my I’m surrounded by hatred, by violence, by intolerance.  Sometimes it’s hard to remember that God called us to be peaceful people.  St. Paul tells us that “the kingdom of God is not a matter of food and drink, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the holy Spirit; whoever serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by others.  Let us then pursue what leads to peace and to building up one another” (Romans 14:17-19.  If this is the case, why do we have so much fear?  Why do we fall into deep sadness and pain?  I guess it’s all a part of being human and that’s why we need to pray.  It’s easy to get caught up in the tragedy around us.  But we are not called to fight darkness with more darkness.  We are called to fight darkness with light.  St. Paul also tells us to “Live as children of light, for light produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth” (Ephesians 5:8-9).  St. Francis of Assisi’s prayer is a beautiful one and easy to memorize.  In the midst of darkness and trouble, remember it:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

Jennifer Kuiper

Modesty Discovered

Here’s a testimony from an 18 year old guest Author from the blog, The Veil of Chastity.

The Veil of Chastity

Many thanks to the Guest Author for this beautiful and powerful testimony!

I’m 18 years old, a rising sophomore in college, and a few weeks ago, I threw out many of my dresses, most of my shorts, and all but one swim suit.

Wait, what?

I am fairly recent “re-vert” to Catholicism, and I went to confession (for the first time in 10 years) and started attending mass again about six months ago. Since then, I have been on fire about my faith (About as on fire as anyone who just realized life is infinitely more special than they ever knew!) I read anything I can get my hands on, attend daily mass, attend adoration at least weekly, confession every two weeks…I’m all in, for the most part.

But there was something I kept skipping over as I learned more about my faith.

Modesty.

Modesty, especially modesty of dress, is…

View original post 1,892 more words

Words of Wisdom from Jesus, the Prophets and…Yoda?

 

Anyone who knows me knows I am a total Star Wars geek.  Much of the dialogue in Star Wars was subpar (sorry George!); however, one character really got all the good lines—Yoda.  Yoda spoke wisdom.  Yoda was the prophet “a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.”  When he first came on the scene in Star Wars:  The Empire Strikes Back, he was Luke Skywalker’s replacement mentor.  Obi-wan was great, but really, what better mentor can you find besides Yoda?  For those who sawthe movie, he became everyone’s mentor!  He gave direction to the faithful and the faithless.  How many times do we say, “I’ll try” and then give up?  Yoda said, “Do, or do not.  There is no try.”  It sounds simple when it’s really not.  We may face the same sin over and over and say, “I’ll try not to do that anymore.”  Yoda says “NO!  Do, or do not.  There is no try.”  But if you really get in your head that you’re going to do something, you will.  And to help you, you need to surround yourself with others who will encourage you on your path to stay in the light; for Yoda also says “Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.  Consume you it will.”  Compare this to what Jesus said to His disciples:  “It is a new commandment that I am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining. Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes”  (1 John 2: 8-11).  What is Jesus’ new commandment?  Love.  “I give you a new commandment; love one another.  As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.  This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another”  (John 13:34-35).

 

So Jesus told His disciples to love one another.  I really don’t think we’re doing a good job of this.  There is so much hate in the world.  And so much indifference.  It’s this indifference that is really the opposite of love and that must be what pains Jesus the most as He looks into our hearts.  Like Yoda also says, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”  But in this day and age, surrounded by so much fear, anger, hate, suffering, and indifference, how can we be encouraged and inspired?  Well, there is always the Word of God to inspire us.  There is also a community of believers; moreover, there are prophets.  We seem to thinkof prophets as people who existed a long time ago in a place (galaxy?) far, far away.  These holy men and women heard from God and passed their wisdom on to us.  But the Bible also tells us “And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions” (Joel 2:28).  And God did just that.  He sent His Holy Spirit upon His believers and showered them with gifts of not only prophecy, but also of healing, wisdom, and speaking in and interpreting tongues.  Yet many Christians do not believe we can access these gifts.  Why?  Well, probably because it is extremely difficult to be holy in our society today.  But we are all called to holiness no matter how bad society gets.  And many of us think that to be a prophet one must see the future.  That is not the case.  It is passing on wisdom from the Lord.  Most of the modern prophets are people who studied the Word intensely and we can find some of these holy men and women in our churches.  We also see this in people who are somewhat secluded, innocents who live simple lives and occasionally have visions of Jesus and/or angels and saints.  How will we know who is a true prophet and who is a false prophet?  “YOU WILL KNOW THEM BY THEIR FRUITS. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.  Every tree that bears bad fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.  Therefore by their fruits you will know them” (Matthew 7:15-20).  So look at those around you who produce good fruit,who sow seeds of love and live in the light.  Those are the ones who received the gift of prophecy.  It is safe to learn from them, for once you learn and become inspired, you may just find that you have this gift too.  Butin order to get there “You must confront Vader (the evil one, the darkness). Then, only then, a Jedi will you be. And confront him you will.”–Yoda

-Jennifer Kuiper

Read more on Spiritualjournies

Reluctant Heroes

In my literature classes it seems we’re always talking about heroes.  We read Beowulf and discuss characteristics of the classic hero.  Then we read Shakespeare’s Macbeth and touch on the tragic hero.  But my absolute favorite to study is the reluctant hero.  I always make time in my classes to read a little LOTR (Lord of the Rings) and watch a little Star Wars.  And what teen hasn’t read or watched a little Harry Potter?  Joseph Campbell inThe Hero With a Thousand Faces says that “The reluctant hero may refuse the adventure or deny the ability to move beyond the status quo.” These stories ring true because we are ALL reluctant heroes.  We don’t think we’re meant to do anything really extraordinary or important, so we refuse the call to adventure, like all of the heroes from these stories.  The call is always obvious:  Frodo must take the ring, Luke must become a Jedi, Harry is told he is a wizard.  In every case the hero initially does not want to go on the adventure.  There is a lack of confidence and a feeling of utter mediocrity.  We can’t possibly be special.  Can we?  God gives us our identity.  He says, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness” (Genesis 1:26).  If we are created in the image and likeness of God, we must be pretty special; moreover, Jesus tells us “Are not five sparrows sold for two small coins?  And not one of them has escaped the notice of God.  Even the hairs of your head have all been counted.  Do not be afraid.  You are worth more than many sparrows” (Luke 12:6-7).  So you are not worthless, nor are you mediocre.  You are the hands and feet of God and with them you can bring light to the world.  At any time we can use our hands and feet to carry our friends like Sam carried Frodo—“I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!”  At any time we can lead those in darkness into light like Luke Skywalker does for his father—“I know there is good in you.  The Emperor hasn’t driven it from you fully.…Search your feelings Father.  You can’t do this.  I feel the conflict in you let go of your hate!”  At any time we can call upon our Father as a savior, just as Harry did—“Expecto Patronum (I expect a savior)!”  Life is our adventure.  You may have been a reluctant hero until now.  It’s time for you to answer the call.

-Jennifer Kuiper

Read more of her work at spiritualjournies

What Does it Mean to Love God and Love People?

When Jesus was asked in Matthew what the greatest commandment was, He said “Love God with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul, and all your strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.”  Simply put this means Love God, Love People.  But really, it’s not that simple.  Think about what that means.  You’ve got to love God first.  Love God with not only your soul but with your heart, mind, AND strength.  How do we do that?  It’s not easy.  Let’s look at these 3 areas.  Love God with ALL your heart.  That’s the emotion part of you.  That’s praise and worship and personal prayer.  Are you good at that?  Do you talk to God, praise Him, thank Him, ask for His help, his leadership?  If not, you’re not really loving God with all your heart.  Love God with ALL your mind.  Do you read the Bible?  Do you know God’s Word?  Do you know what He wants you to do and how he wants you to behave?  If not, you’re not really loving God with all your mind.  Love God with all your strength.  This is works.  Are you God’s hands and feet?  Do you serve others?  Do you show your love of God to others?  If not, then you’re not really loving God with ALL your strength.  It’s hard to do all of these things but it’s what God wants so we have to try.

I would bet that you love God in one of those ways REALLY well.  I also bet that you are really weak in one of these areas.  Well, guess what?  We need to be strong in all those areas.  Evil is real.  Satan is real and if there’s an open window then he’s into your house.  Me?  I feel I love God with all my heart and all my strength but I know I don’t know his Word enough.  I’m an English teacher and I haven’t read the entire Bible yet.  I’m not proud of this but I’m working on it.  It’s tough stuff.  So, what can you do if the Bible seems too hard, too intimidating?  Well, listen to Christian speakers using the Word.  We have these great Lighthouse CD’s in our church now.  And let’s face it, you can access anything online nowadays.  What can you do if you don’t love God with all your strength?  Give as much of your time to other people.  Obviously, you need to take care of yourself but pray for others, do things for others.  What can you do if you don’t love God with all heart?  Talk to him throughout your day.  Ask Him to make Himself known to you so you can worship Him better.

There was a time I didn’t think I could hear from God but I went through a stressful situation and heard Him in my heart.  This revelation came to me through my son.  I was so stressed when I realized He had autism.  I railed against God, why, why would you do this to Him?  Why would you do this to me?  Well, guess what?  I felt in my heart God say “Do you think you love him more than I do?”  I realized then that Riley’s autism was a gift.  It’s kept us both closer to God.  Riley does not belong to me.  He belongs to God and God entrusted me to care for him in this world.  No one can love him more than God.  Does God want him to suffer?  No.  Does God want me to suffer?  No.  No one has suffered more than Jesus and Mary.  Think about that.  Jesus was beaten and killed for people who persecuted Him.  Think about Mary.  She had to watch her son beaten and crucified.  I can imagine no greater hardship, no greater heartache.  Once we experience suffering we can better understand God’s love.  And we can better love people.  All people.  It’s hard to love people.  But we’re told to love them all.  Just like Jesus did.  All people womb to tomb.  Even those who persecute.  And even those who sin.  And that’s all people.  Don’t think you can’t change the world because you can.  You can love the darkness out of this world one person at a time.  And that’s our goal for this life.  To make disciples.  To bring people to God.  We must do this with love and with compassion, not with anger, not with hatred.